And the Darwin award goes to...

Old mate from the U.K. over the weekend who ordered tequila slammers, grabbed the shots with his hands and picked up the salt with his mouth.

Next time how bout you just start spitting in peoples drinks cause it would save me the trouble of having to throw it out and buy a new one.

...as the dust settles

Bartending theory of Quantitative De-evolution

For those of you who are not familiar with Darwin awards, it is a simple concept whereby members of the human race can receive an unofficial award for an uncanny ability to destroy the validity of Darwin’s theory of evolution through Natural selection.

Darwin indirectly states, that members of a species compete in the game of life whereby only the strongest and smartest contenders are successful in the mating game. Hence, they are able to reproduce offspring of equal and greater potential in order to propagate the success and survival of the species for generations to come.

When we explore Bartending as a school of thought, one quickly learns that Darwin’s theory often falls way short of the mark, when numerous examples continue to prove that the broad cross section of humanity appears exempt from such evolution in any form.
Stay tuned...

Friday Night Nonsense

(Girl walks up to the bar)

Girl in her 20’s: Excuse me, do you have any tissues?

Bartender: Yeah, actually I do.

(Reaches behind the bar to produce a bunch of fresh tissues)

Girl in her 20’s: Awww thanks so much.

Bartender: Yeah don’t worry about.

(She blows her nose)

Girl: Sorry, do you think it would possible to get some drinks aswell.

Bartender (shaking head): No, we only have tissues I’m afraid.

Girl: Really?

(Contemplative pause)

Bartender: Yep.

The Beginning

"Bar vs. Wild."

The central theme of this thread purports the wild world outside as a vacuous entity, filled with moronic ape like imposters whom do not possess basic social skills nor can they grasp simple concepts of manners or courtesy.

Stay tuned for weekly updates from all sides of the equation. Those of DJ, Bussy and Bartender, as they sift through this gigantic influx of weekly occurances, to bring to you the very finest examples of customer's social retardation and developmental regression.

Salts Badge

Saturday night banter feat. Meathead Bogan

Bartender: Just waters for now mate

Customer: Yeah sure thing mate.

(2 waters and 10 mins later)

Bartender: How you going there?

Customer: Ah all good champ ...Was just talking about keys.

Bartender: Excuse me?

Customer: Ya’ know, keys. Like musical keys. Cause I study music at uni and today... Do you know that Limp Bizkit song; ‘Behind Blue eyes?’ (Starts to sing)

Bartender: (cutting off) Yer I know it... but I think that was a cover hey.

Customer: Yeah it was originally done by ‘The Who’.

Bartender: Sure

Customer: Well, it’s supposed to be played in like D key, but today I was mucking around and ended up playing it in C key... that was pretty tricky.

Bartender: Yer sweet dude.

(awkward silence)

S.B.